I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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