But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
