I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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