At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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