Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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