Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
