I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
