I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
