I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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