Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
