How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize