Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
