This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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