I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
