when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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