I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sobbing to NWA
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
