yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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