Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
