Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
