hotel room ftw
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
