Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
