sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
