SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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