I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
