Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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