I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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