It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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