You really coming over, don't trick.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
