Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
im calling her cock vulture from now on
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
