Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
