Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My balls are so social today.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
