Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
