coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
