Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
