we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A+ Viking dick
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