The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize