Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
