One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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