she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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