Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
