Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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