This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Let's get the cat blown out
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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