Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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