you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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