My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
