I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
