Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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