Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
