idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
