Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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