i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
