We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
