He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
