I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
