sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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