Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
