at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
