I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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