DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
