Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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