everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
