i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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