guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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