there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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