I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
