New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
