what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
NoShamevember. You game?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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